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Masturbating Man Tells Cops He is Captain Kirk, Commander of the Enterprise #crime #Florida

A man arrested Monday for masturbating at a bus stop identified himself as James Tiberius Kirk upon his arrest by Florida cops, according to court records.

The perp claiming to be Captain Kirk was spotted around 11:20 AM vigorously “stroking his penis that was under his shorts,” reported a Clearwater patrolman. The action “corrupted the public morals and sense of public decency,” alleged investigators.

Trending: Real Americans Brace For 2 years of Stupidity After Party of Communist Treason Retakes House #Democrats #Traitors #Treason #evil

After the defendant stroked himself for more than two minutes, a cop asked what he was doing. “The defendant stated, ‘I’m scratching myself.’”

Upon being arrested for disorderly conduct, the man said that he carried no ID, but gave his name as that of the commander of the starship USS Enterprise. Cops actually did a “wants/warrant check” on the Kirk name, which came back with negative results.

Police subsequently used a facial recognition program to determine that “Kirk” was actually James Roger Bundrick, 56. In addition to the disorderly conduct rap, Bundrick was charged with a second misdemeanor, providing a false name to law enforcement. He is being held in the Pinellas County jail in lieu of $400 bond.

Pictured above, Bundrick is a convicted felon who was released from state prison in August 2016 after serving nearly four years in custody on multiple felony charges.

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In other bizarre crime news, a California man was arrested after repeatedly ramming a car, then climbing on top of it and jumping up and down.

It all started with a crash loud enough for Nikki Guinn to run outside of her home near X Street in Downtown Sacramento, California.

“I was inside my house and I heard a car accident,” Guinn recalled.

But she soon realized it was no accident.

“So I grabbed my phone and ran outside with it,” she said.

Her cell phone camera captured 12 minutes of chaos.

You can read more hilarious crime news at The Smoking Gun.

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Mr Americana, Overpasses News Desk
June 13th, 2018

 

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